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| Last lunch together |
Imagine if someone came up to you and greeted you with “ I
am here to be seen” and you reply “I see you.” I.SEE.YOU ( no, this has nothing to do with Avatar). Three words that pack
so much meaning and power. Sometimes we
underestimate the power that our words have on others. That our recognition and
acceptance of another person can either contribute or take away from how they
see the world and how they perceive themselves. The people of South Africa and
their acknowledgment of the person that I am contributed so much to my
experience. Like I said in my previous posts, I think this is something that we
all see in our lives and I find it imperative to be able to distinguish between
the people who really see you, accept you, recognize you from those who seek to
change you or point out your flaws for their own validation. My professor introduced us to Sawubona (I see
you) a greeting in Zulu that we learned at our last INDABA. Sawubona ties
in to UBUNTU (seeing ourselves through the eyes of other)
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| My roomie Amber |
Often times, we
forget the importance of paying attention to how the world see us and we tell
ourselves that as long as we have a somewhat clear understanding of who we are,
that is all that matters. I understand why we do this (insecurity, apathy etc.)
I think that if we show our real self, stop trying to fit in, stop holding on
to an identity that is only a part of you but doesn’t DEFINE you) and truly try
to connect with other s through our differences and similarities then we can
truly experience the beautify of UBUNTU. This isn’t easy, I definitely wasn’t
doing this before my time in South Africa however; I was in a position where I
finally realized I had nothing to lose by being myself. I started to pay
attention to people’s reactions, understanding the words that they used and the
ones I used and whether I was being clear in my language. When I wasn’t, I
rephrased and this helped to bring our connection to a greater level of
understanding. People didn’t want to know what I did, how much money I made or
where my family was from. Instead they asked me what my passions were, what my
plans were, what I thought about certain issues and whether I had skyped with
my parents to let them I was okay. I miss that very much.
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| Venice |
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| Duomo |
When I arrived in Milan after two months in South Africa, it
finally hit me...how unbelievably blessed I was to be able to travel as much as
I have and to have the opportunity to apply the lessons I’ve learned in places
where nobody knows who I am. To practice UBUNTU and see how present it is in
the rest of the world. Our host at our hostel treated me so wonderfully; he had
such fabulous stories about traveling to the Middle East and played us endless
European YouTube videos. His dog princess was pretty special too; an Italian
dog who goes to mass with its owner? Pretty priceless. He was going back to
Sorrento on holiday, and I have to say I will miss him very much. I think
before I wouldn’t have taken the time to really get to know him, because I’m in
my own head so often, but attempting and actually being able to engage with
others makes such a wonderful difference in our lives.
Reuniting with an old friend helped me to gain more perspective, I was able to
think back to a time where I was in a completely difference place in my life
and it made me appreciate the place where I was now.
I am not the person I was then and I think
that applies to how South Africa changed me as well. Jen and I talked
politics/education reform in England/South Africa and the rest of the world at
the roof of el Duomo and discussed our career aspirations at a cafe by the
Galleria. I realized that as I walked the streets of Milan, I felt so at home.
I think I am starting to understand why I had chosen to come to Europe after
South Africa; I’m considering moving here and though I could be freaking out about
job opportunities, finances and uprooting. I’m not scared.
I’m excited. I say it again and again, we
always have a choice whether in how we choose to react to what is happening to us or when
we directly cause the change. This year, the trend has been to choose and then
let go of control once I have made my decisions. Has this been successful 100%
of the time? No Have I failed to let go at times? Heck yes but I’m a work in
progress.
There was a minute where I
stopped to ask myself “Whoa, this is my life. It’s going in a direction that I
am actually happy with. I’m at peace with myself for the time being, I will do
my best to keep it constant. Our professor told us that she stays calm in
moments of distress and uncertainty because worrying only clouds our judgment. By
staying calm we can think clearly about what we can and can’t do and if there
isn’t anything we can do then we must let it go. When I asked her if she had a
mantra that she followed she said to always have faith, it is what keeps us
going.
As idealistic as this all may
sound to some people I can say it and embrace it because when looking back at
the darkest times in my life, faith kept me going. I question everything now
but my curiosity doesn’t stem from insecurity, it stems from a need to continue
to grow and evolve as a person. If we aren’t honest with ourselves in regards
to our faults, and talk about issues as race, inequality, personal and
professional doubts then how will we learn? Seeing yourself through the eyes of
another and not seeking validation but an understanding of who they are and who
you are through a mutual exchange of ideas and thoughts is a beautiful thing
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| My Professor and role model |
If you’re reading this, I ask that you have one conversation
with a person, look into their eyes when they speak and let them know that you
are here to be seen (YOU, no masks or defense mechanisms) and then I want you
to SEE THEM. Give them all of your attention and truly engage. It will make a
huge difference, trust me.
I am off to
Croatia Hungary, Berlin and London and yes I am still processing. We (program buddies) are all processing our
experiences in South Africa in different ways but one thing is for sure, I miss
my South African family so much and each day of travel, I appreciate my parents
and friends more and more!
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| Family :) |
